Been away

Literally been away for way too long. The good start of blogging shrinked to a few posts. Oh well. Back now anyways.

Been away in another sense too. Our building is going through a renovation and we've been away from home for almost three weeks. Eager to return on Monday!

I've gone through ups and downs since my last post. Been reading up parenting books too and made some real progress for a time. Now I feel I need to re-read them to get back in the groove again. But I am hopeful as there was such a good phase already that I can hold it all together. With the help of my amazing husband and awesome God. I also need to read the Bible more and pray more. Now there, I've said it. Let's get back on track.

Refreshing

We want to move. We want a sauna and we want at least a small yard. My son loves to jump and and I need to tell him off from jumping on our couches usually several times every day. It would be absolutely wonderful to allow him to let off steam on a backyard trampoline.

However, moving is not very likely at the moment. Therefore, I wanted to do something to our current home to make it feel fresh. I'm the sort of person who gets thorough enjoyment from moving things around a bit. I love looking at a room with differently and sometimes even little changes make a world of difference. Especially at this situation where I spend more time at home than I have ever done in my life. It's my work place as well as my home, so it is wonderful if I can make it even cozier every once in a while.

I started from my son's room last Friday and moved around the bed to a different wall. The room felt totally bigger! After that I itched to do something in the living room - dining area space. It's a challenge with all the puzzle pieces, I tried different options in my head with no luck. But on Sunday I aimed for a smaller change and just suggested we just move the big armchair on the opposite side of the room and then my husband said we could move the dining table 90 degrees and that's it! The whole space feels new again! I might change the curtains though for even more change.

I still want all of those things I dream about, but I'm more content to wait patiently for God's timing for our new home, when I have been able to change something.

#100happydays

Almost two years ago I noticed someone I follow on Instagram to use the hashtag #100happydays on their photos. I was feeling somewhat tired at the time and decided it was a perfect reason for me to find something cheerful each day and hoped the attitude would stick around. It was one factor which made me come through happier from the darkest time of the year. Yesterday I resolved it's time to do a re-run of that project. I want to use different kinds of methods in finding a more grateful and brighter me. It's the perfect time to start as well, because it's fall, my favorite season, with lots of colors and pretty details out in the nature. Thinking about what to post as each day's 'happy thing' gives me a new way to look around me, like wearing "happy spectacles".

Focused

I listed things on my to-do list in a previous post and divided them into things I have to do and things I want to do. Since then, thinking through this emotional situation I'm in (and believe me, I have given it a lot of thought lately) I've come to realize two things:

1. I need, for my sake, find time and resources to do the things I want. Things that make me feel good, things that inspire me, things that put a smile on my face.
2. Even the things that I need to or have to do can result to a similar feeling and can enable me to do things that I want.

For example: I love to bake and try out new recipes. BUT if my kitchen is a mess, it isn't an inviting place to start baking. So to be able to succumb to the call of untried recipes, I need to have a kitchen that is ready for baking. Plus, having a clean kitchen is a joy in itself as well!

So, relating to the post title, I want to focus on finding time to do things that give me joy AND in doing the things I'm not so keen on, I need to put my focus on the end result instead of the not-so-pleasant journey there as well as focus on how the necessary tasks can help to create an environment I can feel good in and do things I like.

Update: kitchen cleaned and vacuumed the apartment. So as for today, I didn't just write about those things. but did some too. Even though the laundry is still taking up space drying on clothes rack, the general look is so much neater now.

The power of decision

Last night, before going to sleep, I decided to start this week and day with my Bible. It's my intention on most mornings, not always comes to fruition. Today it did. I read my today's passage from the study plan I currently follow (The Essential Jesus) while having breakfast and made a decision. To be an adult. To not let myself be overly irritated by the whims and annoying replies of my son*. With the help of Jesus, I have succeeded so far. Using this quiet hour when both kids are napping to document my achievement. Shall it be an enouraging reminder for me.

*He isn't only annoying. I love him dearly, he's a great joy and has enriched my life beyond measure. But sometimes too much of the same thing, in this case dealing with his "terrible twos" and being with him almost 24/7 can, like my husband wisely said, be like an infected wound that even the slightest poke can irritate and prevent the wound from healing. I have felt like this lately.

A million things to do...

Of course there are the household chores creeping up on me, the dishes, the laundry, the ever-present need to cook and plan what to eat (and therefore a want to create a meal plan for a month to at least cut down the planning, but alas; when to do that!), the seasonal "do the children have all the required things for winter/spring/summer/fall", the list just goes on and on and isn't very inspiring.

On the other hand, there are the things I want to do. Sewing. Baking and trying out new recipes. Doing research for getting a new sewing machine. Inviting friends over (if the home wouldn't be a complete disaster area all the time). Going to a masseuse (and make the appointment). Go somewhere, almost anywhere without constant debates and general blabber surrounding me (the sound world I live in is unbelievable: my son does. not. stop. talking. Oh wait, yeah he does: when he sings. All of which is darling and will most probably be my treasured memories, when he's a grown man, but is nearly driving me insane at the moment, because he makes some sort of sounds for 97% of the time he's awake.) Reading the Bible and praying. Being a better wife and a better parent, in that order. This blog now that I've had the guts to found it.

I just feel overwhelmed at times. Lately, it seems, more often than not. I hope and I pray that this phase, this fog, is a short one and soon I can go back to loving the situation I am in. Because I have the most amazing husband who really gets me. And God has blessed me with with the most wonderful children I can imagine. And I really want to love and cherish this episode in my life.

Start of something new

Fall is always a time for new things. Hobbies start after summer, children start a new school year on a new grade. Fall is a good time to change things.

I started a new blog.

I have several things in my life right now that demand my attention and make me feel stretched "like butter that has been scraped over too much bread", and most of them are related to my threenager and my baby and the running of a household that seems to run away from me. Nevertheless, or perhaps, because of, I feel I need a time and a space for me. Telling about my things, my achievements, my crafts, thoughts, ideas. Developing my brain by writing, in English too, which I don't do nearly as often as I should.

This blog is an attempt of a weary and happy, frustrated and grateful stay-at-home mom to feel she's accomplished something. Anything. Even if just the creation of this blog, although I hope this won't be the last entry as well as the first. Welcome to follow what happens!